He is free at last.

Happy Valentine's Day, y'all.

Seth and I don't usually do much for the special Day of Luv, or VD (haw haw). We got engaged on Valentine's Day, uh, several (?) years ago (Four? No, five. Five VD's ago. Okay then.), and we couldn't really top that with overpriced flowers and cheap chocolate, so we don't try.

I do have pangs of dorkiness, though, and so I made him heart-shaped French toast this morning. However, I used my diet fake-white bread, instead of big thick Texas Toast, or yummy, dense French bread, and so I'm pretty sure it didn't taste that good. But it was cute, so whatever.

We have decided to buy each other an iPod. To share ("but you can use it mostly," Seth said). This is not so much a Valentine's gift as it is a "Yay, we're back in the poor tax bracket now, and we therefore get a refund!" gift, but they don't really make cards for that. Either way, I'm excited. Yes, I love technology....

I took my mom to lunch today, in honor of Valentine's Day, sort of. Or really not, since we go to lunch together about every other week. We went to Swett's, a local meat & three, in the Farmer's Market. ("Happy Valentine's Day, Momma! Here's some green beans and corn!")

Mom was all excited because of the big news at her office. She's a court officer, and she's always privy to all kinds of Crazy Stories from the different judges' courtrooms. I knew this one would be funny becuase she leaned in close over the table, and she lowered her voice.

Please note that my mother sounds like a Designing Women character, and I mean that in the cutest way. She said, "Well, there was a murder trial last week in Judge ____'s courtroom. And the guy on trial had one of those gang nicknames."

Okay, right? I didn't think much of that; hell, I went to school with a guy named Dirty. I'm pretty sure his real name was Jason, but from age 11 on, he was known as Dirty. See, also: Slappy, HLHS class of 96. Anyway, Mom says, "And you will never guess what his nickname was." [Dramatic pause as my mother shields her mouth with her hand.] "Turd."

Hearing my mother, a cross between Julia and Suzanne Sugarbaker, say "Turd" was totally the highlight of my day. But wait! It gets better.

"And this 'Turd,' all of his friends were in the courtroom. AND they had all gotten t-shirts made that said 'FREE TURD.'" Emily Rose, it was written in brown ink. The judge made them all leave and told them they could only come back if they changed their t-shirts."

Hee! And apparently, this judge is the most humorless judge in town. "The jury returned with a not-guilty verdict, and that very afternoon, Judge _____'s court officer had a shirt made up for her that said 'THE TURD IS FREE.'" She (the judge) was not amused."

Ah, happy Valentine's Day to you too, Mom.

emiloo at 3:10 p.m.