Dumb and Dumber

Well, I sort of skipped my entry yesterday, mainly because nothing happened. So, I don't really know why I'm writing today, because it's not like anything else has happened.

We had a nice weekend. Activities involved buying Tom Petty tickets, walking 3 miles, eating a hotdog, the party of a friend we haven't seen in a year or two, another friend's band's show, bitterly shopping for Father's Day gifts, dinner at Seth's favorite place for gumbo, and getting stuck in Fan Fair traffic. Thank you, Jesus, Fan Fair is over for another year.

Tomorrow is my mom's birthday. She'll be turning 50, which has gotten her a little bit down, but she really shouldn't be. She looks about 38. She's a looker, my momma. Of course, I inherited none of her looks. I look just like my dad. Boo. A few months ago, I remember, my mom and I were in her car, and I was checking my lipstick in the little visor-mirror, in the evil sunlight. I whined, "The skin around my eyes is starting to get a little crepe-y." She said, "You know, mine is too!" I moaned, "Mom, I'm 24." Haaa. My mom is more of a hottie than me. But not in that Jerry Springer way of tube-top-ish mom-skankness. My mom is a very classy hottie, yes she is.

Anyway, we're taking her to dinner at one of my favorite places in town. We'll have the big chef's tasting menu and make a big fuss over her and all that. It should be fun, provided my dad doesn't find some way to screw it up.


Last night, I'm not sure what happened. Seth and I had a very specific agenda. I was going to rush back to our side of town, drop off the blasted dry-cleaning (please note, I go to the ultra-cheap dry-cleaners. $1.99 an item!), scrounge up some dinner, he would get home, we would eat, we would return some nixed Father's Day crap, and we would buy some groceries. While eating dinner, we got sucked into that ridiculous Fox show, Test the Nation. We started taking the stupid test, along with all the stupid people on TV. They even had special test groups in the studio audience, including a group of scientists, one of bodybuilders, and some "blondes." Seriously. Leeza Gibbons would say things like, "Who has a higher IQ? Bodybuilders or scientists? We'll find out after this commerical."

When I was eight, I took an IQ test at the request of several of my teachers. I was in a program for gifted kids called Encore. I was "certified gifted," which is kind of creepy sounding, but my IQ was pretty high. I say "was" because, while I was mighty smart for an eight year-old, I'm pretty sure I hit a plateau somewhere along the way, so I'm not bragging so much as wistfully remembering what it was like to be smart. I would classify myself as somewhere marginally above average now (and I only think this because of the very stupid people always selected for "man on the street" interviews; otherwise, I would think most people are generally smart), but nothing special. I think my IQ was measured at 137 then. That's high enough to qualify for Mensa. I guess I should've joined up when I had the chance, becasue my score on the Fox test was only 127. Seth beat me--he got a 129. So, Leeza Gibbons and Mark L. Wahlburg say that we're not as smart as we used to be. I actually got a little bit down about it, but I guess that just proves I'm stupid. Haw. I can't believe we wasted almost two hours of our lives taking some IQ test over the Fox network.


So, to recap, I'm gradually becoming dumber. Also, I like crappy TV. I don't think I need to point out to you the possibility of a correlation, do I? Fox is making me dumb, and now they're rubbing that dumbness all up in my dumb face! Hee.

emiloo at 10:11 a.m.