Big Surprise--My Dad's Still an Asshole!

From yesterday's entry, about my mom's birthday, which is today:

Anyway, we're taking her to dinner at one of my favorite places in town. We'll have the big chef's tasting menu and make a big fuss over her and all that. It should be fun, provided my dad doesn't find some way to screw it up.

Well, hey! Guess what? Dad has fucked it all up. Big surprise. He didn't want to drive "all the way back downtown" (20 minutes) after coming home from work (no, no, why go to that trouble for the fiftieth fucking birthday of his wife of 27.5 fucking years? That would be silly!), so instead of the lovely and so yummy Mad Platter, guess where we're going? The Catfish House. I swear, I couldn't make up something that pathetic if I tried. (P.S. If you're ever in Nashville, eat at the Mad Platter. So good.)

Mom called to tell me this, and I asked her if that was okay with her. She was all, "Oh, yes, that sounds good, I've never been to this, um, Catfish House before. I've heard good things about it." Arrgh. Poor Mom. My dad sucks so bad. We'll give the Mad Platter another shot later this week, sans Dad.


Yawn. Sigh. What was I talking about? Blah blah my dad is an asshole, blah blah. No news there.

In other news (but sadly still Dad-related), I've been hunting for a cushy, perky job for my husband. I've decided he needs to get the hell away from ye olde Den of Misery, Spiders, and Dad. I have found several for him, and a few that I wouldn't mind applying to. I should probably just sit tight at the ol' lieberry for the time being, though.

Here is the job I would like for my husband (and I'll take a side of it for myself, if you're passing them out): something that involves taking people to fancy dinners with a corporate card of some sort, perhaps a car allowance (ooh! But that's not essential, I don't suppose), internet access that works more often than not, a boss who is not an asshole, perhaps a water cooler with the little pointy paper cups. That's about it. I really don't think he would care what the actual duties of the job were (I mean, as long as they weren't all stealing-from-old-people-and-babies evil or anything), as long as the job was not stressful.

Seriously, the husband's background is in HR. Isn't that all official-sounding? It certainly sounds more impressive to me than English and a smattering of library what-not. We should have no problem finding him work. I am confident about this.


Other random stuff: I watched Top Model last night. Ebony got sent home. I didn't much care for ol' Ebony (did she ever shut up? I mean, ever?), but I felt all sad for her when she left. Cleary I need some hobbies or interests or pets or role-playing games to occupy my time.

emiloo at 11:34 a.m.