Emiloo

2003-07-02

THE BOOKS ARE LAUGHING AT ME

I went to Pilates class last night. A real Pilates class, with a certified instructor and all that. I'm not so sure I'm crazy about the instructor. She touched my ass and my stomach. She was just trying to reposition me or whatever, but I'm all anti-touching. How dumb is it that her touching my big squishy stomach bothered me more than her touching my hiney? If you want me to beat you up, touch my stomach. I'm like the Pillsbury doughboy, except instead of giggling, I'll beat you up when you poke my tummy.

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So, I SWEAR I'll stop posting stuff from the ol' Virtual Reference chats, but I have to share this one with you. Have to. I wasn't manning the chat when this lovely patron logged on, unfortunately. Poor librarian Amy was:

Patron: Chat Session Transcript with Steve: Why are all the books sticky?

Librarian 1: I am afraid I do not understand your question.

Patron: The paperback books I check out have a thick, clear plastic skin attached to the paper cover

Patron: This plastic covering is always sticky and often smells.

Patron: I find that a little 409 I can clean them

Patron: Once clean they are more comfortable to touch

Patron: What's up?

Patron: Is the plastic oozing residue or are the other readers not clean?

Librarian 1: Thank you for alerting us to this problem. I will pass it along to our circulation staff.

Patron: Anyone touching books in the library should already be aware of this issue.

Patron: Which branch are you located in?

Patron: I can drop by and pick any book from the shelves. After touching it you will feel the need to wash you hands.

Patron: This issue is especially true with the CDs on loan.

Patron: The jewel cases are usually very sitcky and always smell.

Patron: The smell I imagine comes from the resins from the dope folks smoke when enjoying music.

Patron: But the sticky is wierd.

Librarian 1: Thank you again for you input. I will be certain to pass it along.

Patron: A great city with a grat library deserves books that don't stink and aren't sticky.

Patron: Does the library require proof of local residency for Internet usage?

Librarian 1: No we do no not require proof of local residency for internet usage.

Patron: so my tax dollars are funding non-residents' Internet access?

Patron: What does it cost to annually operate each of the computers with Internet access?

Patron: Does the library offer free long distance telephone service?

Patron: Does the library offer free tickets on Greyhound or Southwest Airlines?

Librarian 1: Sir, these are questions are beyond the scope of this service. If you would like I will be happy to pass the transpcript on to the Main Branch Administrator and have him follow up with an email.

Librarian 1: If you would like him to do this, please provide your email address. Thank you.

Patron: please do.

notputtinginhisrealaddress@yahoo.com

Librarian 1: I will pass this along. Thank you.

Patron: thanks.

Now then. I like how he took the time to include the little symbol next to 409. Also, is the plastic oozing residue? Dope smokers? Fun times.

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Yard sale this weekend! I really hope the holiday doesn't hurt our sales. Our sale is definitely not going to hurt our holiday. We're still going to cook out and drink a lot. Go, USA!

It turns out, I've already made $20 and the yard sale hasn't even happened yet. We're having the sale at Niki's parents' house, and they went through some of the crap that I'd already dropped off, and they picked out $20 worth. Word.

I guess that's all for today. Tonight, Niki and I are putting up fliers at the grocery store and the laundromat. Party time.

emiloo at 10:50 a.m.