The Reason for the Season

Okay, I would like for more people to please post their overblown, whiny Christmas Wish Lists, so I don't feel like a selfish tool. Which I am, but I don't need to be reminded of it, you know? It's not like I've forgotten what the holidays are really all about (and what they are all about is Peppermint Mochas, my friend. I'm not a big Starbucks person, but that is some good shit).

Anywhoo, on the topic of wanting what you cannot possibly have (oh, Roomba), I went on a kick-ass tour of homes in my neighborhood over the weekend. Well, it's really the neighborhood right next to my less-hip neighborhood, but I just sort of claim it. Whatever. Anyway, lots of architects and interior designers and impossibly cool people live in the neighborhood, so there are some really incredible houses.

My favorite house was the smallest one on the tour--a precious little Tudor revival. I loved every single thing about it UNTIL I got to the very last room, a kind of tucked-away guest bedroom. A room FILLED with Scarlett O'Hara dolls. Scarlett in her green curtain dress, Scarlett in her green and white sprigged muslin party dress, Scarlett in her trampy tasteless red-feathered number, Scarlett Fucking O'Hara just EVERYWHERE. So SCARY. Also, just one man lived in the house. Okay then.

Another house had a bedroom full of Liberace's actual bedroom furniture. The hell? Also, there was a replica of the Sistene Chapel's ceiling in the Liberace bedroom. So subtle and tasteful. Most of the houses were awesome, with one odd thing about each one (i.e., the Scarlett O'Hara funhouse, and Liberace's scary-ass bedroom). One house was stunning, but it had a cat-food smell about it.

On Sunday, I did the tour again, and I brought my mother along. We rode on the Nash Trash bus, which is something I insist that every one of you do if you're ever in Nashville. This is the funniest way to see the city, and these women, the "Jugg Sisters," are completely insane.

I have very intricate renovation plans now. I just need--what do you call it? Oh yes. Money. I do believe my water heater dreams might come true, though. That's right--we may be getting a water heater that will supply us with more than four minutes of hot water. It's tough being so glamorous sometimes, I tell you.

emiloo at 3:41 p.m.