2004-06-23
I Dun Cut My Fanger Open!
Yes, yes. I seem to remember something about a diary, one that I would occasionally write stuff in. Hmm.
Nothing of note has happened, except that I cut my finger open with a CHAINSAW. Well, actually it was just an electric hedge trimmer, but that doesn't sound nearly as dramatic, does it? Anyway, the tip of my left pointer finger looks somewhat like a spiral-sliced ham, except now it's turning white?
Oops, sorry, too gross. I won't make you look at it, like I make my mom and sisters. I don't make Seth look (much) because he is very sensitive to all matters regarding blood, guts, and spiral-sliced ham. Sometimes, though, I do hold it (bandaged up) half an inch from his face and threaten to touch him with my icky white hamfinger.
Anyhoo, most of my free time has been spent helping Mom with the ridiculous undertaking of fixing up the house. In fact, that's how the Great Chainsaw Incident of 04 happened. Last night was attic time, during which I, frightened and itching, would grab mysterious boxes or trash bags(!) out of mountains of itchy pink insulation, throw them down our pull-down steps, and scratch at my skin like a flea-ridden puppy. Fun!
Much fun was also had trying to keep my finger, and all it's many folds of dead skin, from being stuffed with mites, insulation, bits of dead wasps, and a puzzling amount of holiday glitter. (Glitter is the devil. Do not let it into your home; you will never be rid of it.)
So, now my own humble garage, basement and attic are all full of wondrous treasure, or Mom's Junk. The basement/garage holds crap that is to go into our festive July 4th weekend (really, just July 2 & 3, but that doesn't sound as festive) Yard Sale. Yard Sale for America? Star-Spangled Yard Sale? Buy Our Debbie Gibson tapes and Hard Rock Caf� t-shirts, or THE TERRORISTS WIN!
Clearly, I need a drink. And a couple days off. But I won't get either (or I'm not supposed to) until July 2, when I get to spend some fun in the sun selling old t-shirts to crazy people! Jelus?!
Well, this is really exciting. You're welcome. More later this week, if you're really good, my little hamfingers!