Blah Blah Diet

Blah blahbity blah. Laziest diarist ever. Sorry. I have not written lately, mostly because my whole freaking life has been consumed by a monster known as The South Beach Diet, and who wants to read about that? Not you, right? Well, sorry. I will try to keep diet blathering to a minimum.

I don't necessarily hate people who yammer on about their diet, but I would hate to be one. If that even makes sense. Anyway, though, here I am, yammering away. I feel like one of those Atkins people who looks at everyone else in the office with some smug secret-of-life superiority, while she gnaws on her pork rinds and cheese-meat combinations. Well, sort of.

Anyway. South Beach Diet. It's really not so bad. I'll spare you the details, except to say that it, like Atkins, restrticts breads and refined sugars for the first stage. Unlike Atkins, it allows a large variety of vegetables, and it discourages saturated fats and fatty proteins. And my husband has lost 5 pounds in 4 days. I've lost one. Whatever.

Of course, what is so wonderful about dieting (and I've never actually really followed a prescribed "diet" or "meal plan" before, so this is somewhat of an "adventure" for me, if there could be such a dorky kind of adventure) is that people crawl out of the woodwork to throw cakes and cookies at you.

Free food is a rarity at my office, and yet, since I started this plan, there have been cookies and doughnuts galore. My mother dropped by to give me a box of Samoas. Gah. My sister called me to tell me some cookie dough I ordered a month ago (for some coworker's kid's fundraiser) had arrived. Freaking Jell-O Pudding Pops are back on the market, all of a sudden. And now, I'm here at work (on a Saturday, but I won't get started on that), and someone has brought in banana nut bread and a WHOLE DAMN CHOCOLATE CAKE. But I have managed to not cheat, even once. Of course, it's only been 4 days and a couple hours, so I guess I shouldn't be patting myself on the back just yet.

Blah blah diet. What about this weekend? Well, aside from working Saturday AND Sunday (ah, the glamorous life of a library employee), my mother and I have, all of a sudden, free tickets to see The Producers. So, we're going. I might be late to Seth's show tonight (or I might not make it at all, depending on how long the play runs), but he was okay with that. These are my grandmother's boyfriend's tickets, and they're incredible tickets.

Tomorrow will involve some sort of puttering in the yard, then working for a measley 3 and a half hours, which I wouldn't mind if they weren't all up in the middle of the most gorgeous day of the year. On Monday, the weather turns to shit again, getting all cold and raining for three days straight. Ah well.

Well, sorry I'm little miss Sunshine and Light (or Proteins and Complex Carbohydrates). I'll be in a better mood after I've had my allotted 15 pecan halves. Have a lovely weekend, y'all.

emiloo at 10:26 a.m.