Do Not Read While Operating Heavy Machinery

Weird day already. I'm working an odd shift today, 11:30 a.m. to 8:00 p.m. It was kind of cool this morning because I got to watch the Today Show and clean my kitchen (is it sad that I really did think this was cool?), but now it's noon and I have to be here for eight more hours. Meh.

I'm on a little kick where I wake up at exactly 3:00 in the morning for about 30 minutes and stare, all hyper-alert and annoyed, at the ceiling. Last night/this morning, my wake-up/freak-out time was sandwiched in between two dreams about my husband.

In the first, the law was onto him (for what, I'm not sure), and he had to hide his clothes that witnesses had seen him in. We were eating Taco Bell Nachos Bell Grande (?) when the cops showed up to search the place, and we had to play it all cool. But we kind of felt sick because we were worried they'd find his clothes, and we had to force the nachos down. Exciting, no?

After I went back to sleep, I dreamt that Seth had to occasionally turn into a snail. A SNAIL. I don't know if this was some device he used to hide from the law, still hunting for him from the previous dream, or what. But we would be eating dinner somewhere, and we would leave the restaraunt, and he would turn into a snail. I would pick up his little slimy, shell-covered body and carry him to the car. What? I hate it when people describe their dreams at length, so I'm sorry, but those two just kind of stuck with me.

Wow. If you're still reading this (and gold stars if you are, and also I'm sorry), I can't really decide what to do for my birthday this weekend. It seems like a good opportunity to actually do something, since it's not only on a Friday, but it's on the Friday before a 3-day weekend. Also, it's the quarter-century mark, which seems like a nice milestone, even though there's nothing really special about it.

I don't want to force all my friends to do something expensive or boring. I also don't want to clean my house thoroughly enough to have people over. Ha? Any suggestions?

Seth and I were watching one of those "The More You Know" public service commercials on NBC the other night. I can't remember the name of the celebrity, but I'm pretty sure it was someone associated with "Law and Order," and he said, "What has four legs and can feed your whole family?" I was kind of grossed out for a minute, then he answered, "The dinner table!" The thing that disturbed me the most was that my thought process to answer this question went something like this:

"Well, dogs have four legs, but you can't eat a dog, so it's probably a pig! Pigs have lots of different meats! I myself don't much like bacon, but I do like a good pork chop. But what about family members who are vegetarians, or who only eat Kosher foods? Hmmm..."

Well, sadly, that's about all the news I've got for right now. Maybe there will be more later.

emiloo at 12:01 p.m.