And I don't mean the Drew Barrymore movie
I give you: A Recap of My Weekend and the Things Involved Therein
1. I got a DISHWASHER. Word UP. Mind you, it does not work yet (actually, it's currently sitting in my living room, but whatever). God only knows when we'll get it installed, which will involve chopping up cabinets and running electrical wiring and all that madness. But at least I have it now, and its presence comforts me. We're becoming great friends.
2. I had cofffe with Mayapple, who does still exist, if you read her diary and were wondering. She introduced me to her coworker, whom I promptly insulted like the asshole I am. Note to self: remove foot from mouth. Or just keep it there, if it prevents you from saying stupid shit all the time.
3. I AM ITCHING LIKE A CRAZYPERSON. Poison Ivy, yo. All over my limbs. Scabs, oozing, itching, mmmmm. I get to go to the doctor today and (hopefully) get shot up with cortisone or something. Blessed drugs.
4. I went to the Wilson County Fair and saw the following things:
-A demolition derby. Yee-haw! How much fun was that?!
-All manner of weird animal races, including pig, duck, potbellied pig (a different category altogether, you see) and billygoat.
-A bunny much bigger than my dog.
-A horse on some sort of treadmill that operated an ice-cream cranking machine?
5. At the fair, I not only saw all kinds of freaky business; I also ate like a pig! I had:
-Funnel cake! Thank you, Lord.
-A big ear of roasted sweet corn, drenched in butter
-German roasted nuts
6. I am so itchy. Oh God, the itching.
I guess that's it. A fairly uneventful weekend, and it also included working a little bit at the library. Now to just wait for my big shot full of itch-relieving drugs...