2004-02-02
Baby, I Believe in You
Well, holy crap. I just went for over a week without updating. I've been a little under the weather, still working but generally just going home and collapsing afterwards. I don't have much sick time, and I wasn't contagious or anything. Just crappy sinus stuff. Exciting, yes?
Anyway, the one thing of note I did in the past week was to go to the Jordan Knight show last Tuesday. Holy hell.
I don't know what I was expecting, exactly, but it certainly wasn't what I saw.
I expected there to at least be a BAND with Jordan. Instead, it was just Jordan and his crappy little keyboard. And some weird sidekick guy who would shout things intermittently, like "Give it UP for JORDAN KNIGHT!" and my personal favorite, "Raise your glasses, and shake your asses!" Indeed.
Also, I expected Mr. Knight to debut some of his new songs, with maybe a few throwbacks to the New Kids' days of yore. This, sadly, was not the case. Guess what the opening song was? Give up? "My Favorite Girl."
If you were an NKOTB fan, you are shaking your head in puzzlement and thinking, that was the worst of the New Kids' songs, and that's saying a LOT. If you're not familiar with this little jewel, let me acquaint you with the profound lyrics. Dude. Also, confidential to Jordan: it might be time, at the age of 34, to abandon the falsetto. It is not quite working for you anymore, and it's way past out of tune. It left "tune" a while back, and now it's just doing it's own thing.
Anyway, Jordan is holding fast to his falsetto, and his 1989 dance moves, including his trademark coy peek over the shoulder. His freaky little DJ buddy, who shared the stage with him, would say things like, "This song's gonna take you back to the time before you had responsibilities! (Crowd: WhoooOOOooo!) Before you had mortgage payments! (EeeeEEEeeee!) Before you were married! (AAAHEHEEEEOOOOOWwwoooooooo!)" Yes, yes, take me back to when I was twelve! This was also known as the time before my teeth were fixed, before I realized that perms and gigantic plastic peace-symbol earrings were a bad idea, and when I weighed 98 pounds but had gigantic hooters, something that creepy old men at the mall seemed to enjoy. Ah, good times. Take me back, indeed.
Other notes about the Jordan Knight festival of creepiness: women are still throwing themselves at him. Creepy DJ Sidekick asked "Who in the crowd is single?" (WHOOOOOOO!), "Well, who's single tonight?" (EEEEEeeee!) Um, gross, ladies. Incidentally, Jordan remarked, "I'm single tonight!" I could have bought an autographed 8x10 glossy for $10 (not personally autographed, mind you), and I also could have paid THIRTY FREAKING DOLLARS to get my picture made with him. Sorry, I didn't. I did manage to get one shot of this living legend onstage, though:
I guess that's enough for today. Hang tough, y'all.