Where have I been? Unfortunately, right here. Right here at my damned boring-ass desk. No exciting news, sorry.
The house thing is moving along well. We're still set to close next Friday, and I'm still annoying everyone I know with furniture layouts, kitchen cabinet catalogs, questions about appliances ("Tell me, have you been pleased with your dishwasher? Would you say it's dependable?"), and paint chips. Dear God, the paint chips.
Note: if you do have any appliance recommendations or horror stories, feel free to drop me a note and let me know. I'm about to have to buy all new kitchen appliances, and will probably go the stainless steel Frigidaire route (cheap package deal), unless one of you warns me not to.
I really need some help deciding what to be for Halloween. Really. Last year, we hadn't really planned on going out, but we did at last minute, and my costume sucked. Hard. I decided to be Anna Nicole Smith. I found a crappy bleachy-blonde wig; some blue eyeshadow, fake eyelashes, and red lipstick; and a stuffed dog to carry around all night. I stuffed the front of my shirt with lots of random things (like shirts and socks), but my chest never quite looked gargantuan enough. I just kind of looked like a skank carrying a stuffed animal, and that's not funny. It's just kind of weird and sad.
My husband, on the other hand, decided to go as Jeff Fisher, head coach for the Tennessee Titans. This was also his costume last Halloween. Mainly because my husband really, really likes to wear a fake moustache. I mean, really. To be able to wear one, he has also dressed as the Unabomber and the father of one of our friends.
Sometime after Halloween last year, we found a really great moustache, so Seth is going to be Jeff Fisher again this year. The costume basically involves the faux facial hair, some state trooper-style sunglasses, and a wireless headset. He's very excited.
He won't offer any feedback as to what I should go as, though. I've considered trying the Anna Nicole thing again. Some other ideas I've kicked around:
-Sidney Bristow (uh, if she got lazy and gained a few pounds and couldn't kick quite so high), with the red wig, of course
-Tinkerbell (or maybe Peter Pan?)
I really don't care to be a "naughty" this or a "sexy" that. Really. Nothing annoys me more than half-naked girls with wings and body glitter and a costume with no other purpose than to look like a whore. I prefer to be comfortable, and I'd really like to have a funny costume, but I'm not really coming up with anything yet. I would love some suggestions.
Although I don't have Halloween plans yet, my husband and I have already planned out the future costumes of the pug that we will one day have. I am quite adamant that we will dress our dog up as a hot dog, like this clever person did:
I mean, seriously. How could you see that and NOT dress your dog like a weiner?
My husband, however, stands very firm that he likes pugs in witch costumes. (?) He thinks it's the pointy hat that really makes the costume, which led me to ask the question, "What if we have a boy pug? We could put him in a wizard costume; he could still wear a pointy hat then," which led us to planning, in great detail, the pug wizard costume of possibly next Halloween. There is a long grey beard involved. The hot dog costumes, we decided, really do look better in pairs, and will be used when we have more than one costumable pet. Thank you and goodnight.