Did I mention that my birthday is coming up? No? Yes? Too many damned times? Sorry. It's not so much that I'm a big dork about my birthday as it is I have nothing else going on.
Usually, this time of year, I'm starting a new semester at school, or last year, I was starting a new job. Not so this year. I will have been at the ol' lieberry 1 year in October. I guess that's good? I will get some laughable raise, like $12 per paycheck, and that makes it all worth it.
So, birthday! Here are some things I want for my birthday. This is not a real list; it is more like a ha-ha, if I were rich like Micheal Jackson (but not freaky and scary), instead of merely sharing his birthday, here is what I would buy myself:
1. A new bed! Bed! Yesterday, my mom and I went to a going-out-of-business sale for a furniture store that's been downtown since the 1940s. Sad. But you know what wasn't sad? The mattress I tried out. It was a Simmons "Power Sleep" 4.0. How goofy does that sound? But it felt like a little bit of heaven.
My husband and I are currently using his full-size mattress from approximately 1958. It sucks. We have another mattress, mine from the comparatively new date of 1988, but we are too lazy to move it to our downstairs bedroom.
Also, both mattresses are full-sized. While we are not ununsually large people, we could use a little extra space. It is not uncommon for one of us to wake the other up, as Seth did the night before last, with the words, "Ow! You punched me in the face!" Um, sorry.
2. A robot vaccuum! Why not? Oprah has one. But I would be a little scared of the robot vaccuum, I must admit. I'd be afraid that it would roll up to my bedroom door and watch me while I slept, or turn all my friends against me or something.
3. TiVo. Want the TiVo. WANT. But I cannot justify the cost, especially for something that just makes watching TV easier, and doesn't make me healthier, smarter, or give me a new bed.
So, feel free to buy me any of this stuff; I won't be embarrassed, and I have no shame in taking your charity.
Speaking of birthdays, happy birthday to my aunt, who is 52 today and tried to teach me to moonwalk when I was four. Everything (disturbingly) comes back to Micheal, doesn't it?