My husband's place of business is cursed. Cursed with the wrath of a thousand demons. Or something. Everything that can go wrong does. Not even goes wrong, but ends in flaming wreckage. He has been at work until 8 or 9 p.m. every freaking night this week. I can't wait until the middle of August, when he can leave! Can't wait.
Anyway, here's an email from him about the cursedness of his office, as well as the geniuses he is lucky enough to work with:
There is the biggest beetle I have ever seen on our front porch. It's about twice as big as the one that was in our bedroom the other day, maybe more than that. It was laying on its back for about two hours so I decided to flip him over since he had obviously lived such a long and fruitful life. Then I started thinking about how this place is cursed and how it would even affect beetles. Here's this beetle that's been around a long time and really worked his way up in the beetle community, and as soon as he's on our doorstep he dies by not being able to flip himself back over. Anyway, as I was staring at him, Scott came up and we were talking about how weird it looked. I said, "It looks like something you'd see in the Amazon," to which he quipped, "Yeah, it looks like something they be eatin' on Fear Factor." He gets the prize for joke of the day.
Hee. From that email, you might have gathered that we found a freaking BEETLE in our BEDROOM recently. I picked up the four-hundred pound dehumidifier, and underneath it was a big, black THING. Normally, I'm not a big sissy about bugs, but this thing was effing humongous, and all black and shiny. I think it was smirking at me.
I wasn't quite ready to kill it because (1)I thought it might try to eat me, and (2)I didn't know if I could handle the "crunch!" that beetle-killing involves, so I took the water pan out of the dehumidifier, and I turned it upside down and put it on top of the
monsterbeetle, like a little cage-house-thing. Then, thinking that the beetle might have super-human strength enough to get out of its little prison, I grabbed a nearby box of Swiffer WetJet refills and sat that on top of the cage, to weigh it down.
When my husband called later (from work, at night, of course), I told him I had captured a museum-rainforest caliber bug. He said, "Oh that big black beetle in the bedroom?"
What? "You've already seen the beetle?"
He says, "Yeah, I thought I killed it this morning."
"And you JUST LEFT IT THERE? A big FREAKING BEETLE? IN OUR BEDROOM?"
"Well, I was in kind of a hurry. I figured I'd just get it later."
He is never to leave a big jungle-bug present lying around for me again, like a cat that brings dead rats to its owner.
Somehow, it's Friday again. My weeks keep flying by, which is good and bad. Good because July is not my favorite time of year, and I'm already getting all dorky and excited about fall. Bad because I should have done a lot of things by the end of July, and they have yet to happen. Meh.
Anyway, Friday = better than Monday, and we have a couple things planned. Look out, world:
Tonight--we're going to see a band, Lume, at one of our favorite dive bars. Perhaps some chips, green salsa, and beers beforehand at our favorite Mexican place with a patio?
Tomorrow--I have an optometrist appointment. Jealous? I need new contacts, and my prescription is expired, so I gots to get my eyes checked. I also get a free colored pair of contacts. Yay, right? Only they're not prescription-strength, so I can't actually wear them out of the house.
Tomorrow night--dinner and drinks with a friend that I only get to see about every two years. She's in nursing school, so maybe she'll give me some money some day or something.
Sunday--I can't remember. How sad is that? I think there are a couple more things planned, but I'm kind of hoping there aren't. I can hardly stay awake until 4:30, when I leave today, as it is.
That's all until Monday, kids. Get some rest and stay away from crunchy bugs!